A few weeks ago, we had a couple of old time friends over
for dinner. They are roughly the same age as us and have been dating for three years.
Being the curious cats we are, we began asking them leading questions about
their future and their relationship.
They mentioned potentially moving in together next year and
perhaps marriage somewhere down the line. Jon and I talked about how, for us, moving
in together was a much more noticeable commitment day-to-day than actually
getting married. With a good deal of nonchalance they said, “why get married
then?”
I was 20 years old when we first got engaged. At that time,
I had about 100 sound reasons that I could spout off at the drop of the hat as
to why I should get married. After settling in to a long engagement, a gorgeous
wedding, and one and a half years of wedded bliss, the thought of “why” we had
gotten married had all but evaporated from my memory. I was a little stunned. After
thinking about it for a minute, I said, “because we want the same things.”
Those 100 reasons I used to have could be boiled down to that single statement.
From dinner tonight to retirement, I can’t envision my
future without Jon. He is as much a part of my life as I am. We don’t believe
in soul-mates; we’re just a good fit.
Does any of this require a marriage license?
Not at all, but since we had
already made the commitment to one another, why not enjoy the legitimacy (from
both institutions and people) that comes from having the piece of paper.
As anyone will tell you, marriage
is not all moonlight and roses, and it is definitely not for everyone. Our relationship is great because it is
honestly our first priority. We invest the time and give it the respect it
requires. Answering the “why” of marriage makes me even more confident that it
was the best decision I’ve ever made.
I love you, Spouse.
-Grace
